Snowfall
by Orrick
Summary: Hermione hits Snape in the back of the head with a snowball. Why? Snape/Hermione, non-romantic
1. Chapter 1

"Nonsense, Severus. Today is a beautiful day."

Dumbledore clasped the Potions professor on the shoulder hard enough to cause the latter to stumble a few paces forward. They were both standing in Dumbledore's office, gazing out of the window. The snow, flawlessly placed on the ground, dazzled in the sun and invited students to lie down outside and bask in the weather. A rather lopsided snowman was being built by Harry Potter and his two friends, and Snape scowled as he watched the raven-haired third year tumble happily in the snow, wrestling with the redheaded, freckle-faced boy he referred to as his 'best pal.'

"Even so," Snape responded silkily, weaving his way out of the grip of Dumbledore, which was a rather hard task. "I do not wish to be disturbed by adolescents whose idea of a 'good time' is to throw clumps of frozen water in the air. As difficult as it is to refuse, I must pass."

"Nonsense!" Dumbledore repeated, giving Snape a shove towards the door. "There are many places you could be by yourself, stop being so pessimistic!" Snape reluctantly followed Dumbledore down the steps and outside the castle. The cold air hit Snape with a shock and his face became even paler, much to his disdain. Dumbledore gazed around happily at the joyful students playing in the snow. "Isn't winter a wonderful season, Severus? Is it not a great pleasure to see the frost accumulating on the outside of windows, to see the leaves fall and form great clumps that you could just jump right in to, to see a cup of hot chocolate on your table, steaming and so deliciously warm?"

Snape stared for a moment. "You sent that?"

Dumbledore smiled. "I figured you could use something to cheer you up. Remus said you seemed in an extra bad temper yesterday."

"Well you can ask Professor Lupin if he would be in a good mood if Longbottom's potion drenched his robes and hair."

"Always about your hair." Dumbledore ruffled Snape's hair for effect; Snape hissed and ducked his head, stepping sideways to avoid what he considered a senile man. "Well," Dumbledore finished. "I must go write Fudge a reply… his letter sounded urgent. But, Severus, I think I see a spot near the lake calling your name."

"Hear a spot near the lake calling my name." Snape corrected the Headmaster, turning his head to look glumly at what Dumbledore was referring to. It did look kind of nice. "I will go sit there," Snape decided, nodding his head. "But not because I want to."

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course not."

Snape scowled. "Please refrain from mocking me to my face."

Dumbledore's smile just widened, much to Snape's annoyance. "Dear Severus, I am not one of your students. Remember that." Dumbledore started to head back to the castle; he turned on the top step to call back to Snape. "Also, Severus, remember that the students, however much they annoy you, remember that they're people too! That they can enjoy the weather just as much as you can!" With that he turned and entered the castle, the great doors flapping loudly for a few seconds before finally closing.

"Blah blah blah." Snape yawned, walking over to the spot Dumbledore so willingly pointed out. "What a crazy old fool." He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands as he sat down to stare at the lake. The top was covered with ice, and Snape couldn't help but relate to the lake.

_It's like me. It's covered with ice on the outside._

Snape thought for a moment.

_That's a bloody horrible comparison. What am I, fifteen?_

Snape groaned, massaging his temples and putting his face in his hands. "It's bloody freezing." He did a simple warming spell, but it soon wore off and he just clutched his robes tighter around his body. "Bloody Dumbledore. I swear one day he will die by my sword." Snape growled, looking around at all the gleeful students.

He was just thinking of leaving when something cold and hard hit him in the back of the head. Snape sat there, stunned, before standing up swiftly and glaring, shaking the snow out of his hair. "Who threw that?" He squinted. "Miss Granger?"

Hermione was wide-eyed and backing away, loose snow falling out of her hands. "I-I…"

Snape, shaking with fury, stomped over to the girl and glared down at her, a scowl threatening to leave a mark on his face if he kept it on any longer. "What in bloody hell made you think assaulting my person with a weapon was a good idea? Fifty points from Gryffindor."

As he said the last sentence Hermione's eyes widened even more, and she faltered slightly under his gaze. "I-I… it was a dare sir… I didn't mean…"

Snape looked over her shoulder. Potter was looking nervous, watching the scene with eyes as round as orbs, his hand holding a twig he was about to place on the snowman they were building. Weasley was rolling around in the snow, clutching his sides, he was laughing so hard. Snape's eyes narrowed. "Potter, Weasley, kindly move your show somewhere I won't be able to see in my peripheral vision."

Weasley scrambled up, still laughing, and whispered something to Potter. The latter still seemed a bit worried, but they both headed away from the scene. As Potter walked behind Weasley he tried to mouth something to Hermione. "Now!" Snape raised his voice, and Harry scurried over to where Ron was walking.

"So," Snape turned back to a shaking Hermione. She was probably cold from standing still. "According to you, you were dared, I assume by Mr. Weasley, to attack my person and risk my health and my life. And you chose to agree to this because…?"

Hermione gulped, still shivering. Her discomfort gave Snape satisfaction, but he was still very, very irritated. "I-I… well I-"

"Yes, Miss Granger, I know my alphabet." Snape snapped. "But if you continue to not answer my question you will soon get a d-e-t-e-n-t-i-o-n." He spelled out, sneering at her. "You always try so desperately to show off… do you know what that spells?"

Hermione turned red and it wasn't from the cold. "Sir, Ron told me that you…" She trailed off, and Snape raised an eyebrow. "Ron told me that students always threw snowballs at your head and that you probably wouldn't c-care." She stuttered as she saw the look on his face change from annoyance to pure rage.

"And, Miss Granger, you thought it intelligent to believe Mr. Weasley?" Snape clenched his fists, staring down at her. "You foolish, foolish girl. Believe it or not, you are the _only_ person stupid enough to throw a snowball at me."

Actually, that wasn't true. James and Sirius would always hurl snowballs at him while he was trying to read in school, and after a Christmas party a few years back McGonagall had thrown one at him because he made the mistake of referring to her as 'Fluffy.'

But right now it seemed like a better idea to pretend that she was in fact the only person to hit him with a snowball. "Another twenty points from Gryffindor for your stupidity, and a detention tomorrow."

Seventy points seemed fair, didn't it?

Hermione didn't seem to think so, because after Snape finished his sentence she literally leaned over and retched all over the ground. Snape stepped back a few paces, looking down in disgust. "I'm sorry…" She apologized after a few moments, flicking her wand to perform a simple cleaning spell. "I just, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown anything at you. It was wrong and I apologize."

Snape's eyes narrowed at her apology. "Remove yourself from my presence, Miss Granger." He hissed, turning around to go back to his spot by the lake. He figured he could get a few more minutes of peace before having to return to the castle.

Whack!

Another snowball hit him squarely in the back of the head, and he whipped around, seeing an innocent Hermione Granger standing exactly where he left her. She had another snowball in her left hand, and as Snape shook his head to rid his hair of the snow, he looked up at her, his eyes narrowed. "You didn't think I believed you for a moment there, did you Miss Granger? Your sad tale of woe about being a naïve, innocent victim that thought I wouldn't mind being assaulted." He hissed.

Hermione just smiled, pulling her left hand back to aim the snowball at his face.

"No, Miss Gr-"

His mouth was open, and Snape coughed as he choked on the rather disgusting tasting snow. He stumbled back a few paces, clutching his chest and glaring at the fourteen year old girl in front of him. "Thirty points from Gryffin-"

Snape was flung to the ground as a storm of snowballs aimed themselves at him, hitting him in the face, chest, everywhere. She must have bewitched the snow to form into snowballs and attack him, Snape thought as he tried to cover his face with his hands.

_That's a rather tricky spell…_

And then it all went black.

* * *

><p>"Miss Granger, Severus has informed me that you 'nearly killed him' earlier today and that he demands 'immediate action' on my part. Now, under normal circumstances your Head of House would handle a case like this, but since this is an assault on a teacher, a very serious crime, I must handle it directly."<p>

Dumbledore finished his statement by clasping his hands together and leaning across his desk to look at the third year grinning sheepishly up at him. "I'm sorry, Headmaster, but I-"

Dumbledore cut her off, leaning back in his chair, his eyes twinkling. "Tell me, Hermione…" He trailed off to add a bit of suspense.

"Did he squeal like a little girl?"

"Seventeen times!" Hermione grinned.

Dumbledore held out his palm. "It worked perfectly! That deserves a high five!"

They high fived.

After a few chuckles and celebrations, Dumbledore had a question to ask. "What'd you tell him? I watched the whole thing through my window, but unfortunately I had no charms that would allow me to hear you from such a great distance."

"I told him I was dared to do it and Ron told me that he probably wouldn't care if I hit him with a snowball."

"Did he suspect otherwise?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Naturally."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Does he know I set him up?"

She shook her head, grinning. "Not a bloody clue."

"Great!" He clapped, standing up and shuffling around. "Now, for that, I say… ninety points to Gryffindor. Yes, that sounds nice and fair, considering the amount he took off." He was still smiling, shaking his head in satisfaction.

Hermione thought for a moment. "Sir, I forgot to tell you something."

"What?" Dumbledore turned his gaze to her.

She grinned.

"I have detention tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

"It's cold."

Snape stared glumly at the cup of coffee placed slightly to the left of him, pushing it around a bit so it could swirl and swish around. He felt like a five year old after a few minutes of this. His eyes narrowed, his temper flaring up despite having no provocation. "Bloody house elves. Will it ever get through their thick skulls that humans _do not_ like cold coffee?"

In a fit of childish rage he hit the coffee cup awkwardly; it flew across the room and smashed against the wall, splattering over everything just because it knew Snape would have to clean it up. "Gah!" Snape sighed out of frustration, pretending it was a tedious chore to clean up the mess.

In truth it took only the flick of his wand and a funny sounding incantation.

The pieces of glass that were scattered across the floor flew up and landed in their proper places in the shape of a coffee mug, the brown liquid soon following by pouring itself back into the cup. "Wait," Snape spoke aloud after a few moments of silence. "Why didn't I just use a heating spell?"

Before he could tell himself lies in his defense there was a rather loud knock on the door and Snape shut his eyes, grimacing.

"Enter."

A shy-looking Hermione Granger entered his classroom cautiously, fumbling with the door for a few seconds before finally closing it. She was wearing her winter uniform; a scarf was bound tightly around her neck and her mittens firmly placed on her hands. Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Despite your eagerness, Miss Granger," He sneered, standing up from his desk to stride over and leer down at her. "We are not going _outside_ this evening for your detention. No, you will stand here and brew some potions the hospital wing is currently out of stock of. Maybe then you will learn your lesson."

Truth be told Snape was actually planning to go outside, but seeing her attire he decided to stay inside just to spite her.

Hermione looked at him for a moment, much like a deer in headlights. "But I'm good at potions."

"Excuse me?"

"I'd understand if you gave Neville or Ron a detention that involved brewing potions, but I'm good at them. It will be no punishment to do something I'm good at."

Snape growled and rubbed his temples for a few moments. _Curse logic. She probably gets this from books. Books should be outlawed if they teach know-it-alls how to actually know it all._

"Sir?"

"What?" Snape suddenly yelled throwing his hands in the air, frustrating coming off him in short waves. "What exactly do you want now?"

Hermione realized that her Potions professor was getting a little frazzled and that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to press him anymore or he might strangle her. "I just wanted to ask what potion I will be brewing."

Snape closed his eyes, searching his mind for the hardest and grossest potion he could think of. Anything that required chopped up toads was in. _Wait, do I have any chopped up toads? Curses. Now I must go check. Once again, curses._

"Miss Granger," Snape said coldly, walking stealthily towards his potion supplies. "I expect you to stand exactly where you are as I inspect my storage for the proper ingredients for a potion named… a name I will tell you later. In the meantime think about what you have done in violently throwing weapons at your professors."

"A professor." Hermione corrected.

"Five points from Gryffindor."

Hermione would reply, but Snape had already entered his storage room, his billowing robes nearly getting caught on the sharp edges of the door hinges. With a heavy thud the door closed behind him, and Hermione smirked as she listened to what he was doing.

Snape probably assumed she couldn't hear him, which wasn't true; although the sounds were muffled she could hear, for the most part clearly, what was going on. There was a bump, a hissed "Curses!" and a few grumbles of pain. She could almost picture him searching through his ingredients, looking for the most disgusting things he could find. A loud crash interrupted her thoughts, and a few seconds later she saw an eerie blue smoke roll from under the space at the bottom of the door. There was a low groan of pain, and Hermione contemplated her odds of living if she opened the door. She decided to play it safe and just stand there.

After about five minutes all the smoke had cleared and she heard Snape stand up and turn the handle to open the door.

Nothing happened.

Hermione heard him try to open it again and again, thirty six times, before he finally realized that it was only going to open from the outside. "Miss Granger," He hissed, banging on the door like a small child. "Open this door at once."

Hermione thought for a moment. "Nope, I think I won't."

"Open this door at once or I will take fifty points from Gryffindor."

Hermione sat down next to the door, grinning. "Oh I would just love to see you try and take points in a potions closet behind a locked door."

She heard a low growl that would cause Neville to pee his pants. "Miss Granger, stop playing around. I need to get out and I promise you that once I do you will be severely punished."

Hermione rolled her eyes, pulling her scarf off. "Bad idea, asking someone to do you a favor and then saying you'll punish them after they do. By the way, why is it always so bloody hot in here? One would think you supported the rumor that entering your classroom was like entering hell."

Snape ignored her last statement. "Let me out at once!"

Hermione just sat there, tapping her foot softly against the floor. "Sorry, Professor Snape, but I fear for my life. You can understand that, right?"

She heard a low hiss and felt the vibrations when he banged his fist against the door. "Miss Granger, I am not kidding. Open this door _right now_ or I promise there will be severe punishments."

Hermione just rolled her eyes. "It's hard to scare someone when you're locked behind a door. Scaring me won't work, professor. You're going to have to bribe me."

Snape just grunted and folded his arms across his chest, sitting down and leaning his back against the door. He didn't reply, and instead studied the potions he had stocked on the shelves. _Perhaps I have a shrinking potion I could use to crawl under the door without Granger noticing. Though I suppose I might accidentally get squashed if I took this method. She does seem like the kind that doesn't look before they step._

"I'll…give you top scores in Potions."

"I already have top scores in Potions."

"I'll stop bothering Potter and Weasley."

"Them feeling pain does not cause me to feel pain."

"I'll…I'll…" Snape sighed. "I'll let you answer a question in class."

He sensed Hermione contemplating what he just said. After a pause lasting about ten seconds, she replied, shattering his dreams with her response. "Tempting," Hope, beautiful hope. "But no."

"Fine!" He hissed, folding his arms across his chest and slumping against the door more. "You're a stupid, incompetent girl, and when I get out of here I assure you that you will be punished _severely_."

"You've said that like twice already, just different phrasing, and yet again I see no punishment in my immediate future. What are you going to do, expel me?"

"Yes!" Snape growled, the idea never occurring to him. "If you do not open the door _right now_, Miss Granger, I will have you expelled."

Hermione thought about saying that Dumbledore would never expel her, but that would cause too much problems, so she just raised her voice a few octaves and stuttered. "Do y-you really mean I could get expelled for this?"

"Oh yes, Miss Granger, you can definitely get expelled for keeping a _professor _hostage." The satisfaction was practically dripping in his voice. She felt him shuffle around, as if collecting his things, expecting to be released of his mini-prison.

"Welp." Hermione said, getting up and putting her scarf back on. "I guess no one can ever know I trapped you then. Farewell."

"Wait, no!" Snape called, banging on the door a few times. "I only have three vials of substitute food in here! You can't just _leave_ me in this bloody closet! Come back at once!"

The door to his classroom closed with a thud.

* * *

><p>It was three days after Hermione's scheduled detention, and Dumbledore couldn't help but feel slightly worried at the lack of his Potions Master at breakfast. Hermione had swore up and down that Snape was alive and well, and that he need not worry about his well being, but Dumbledore couldn't help but feel somewhat disbelieving at this point. He had to assign various teachers to fill in Snape's classes, and Dumbledore knew that he couldn't keep doing this for much longer.<p>

"Are you sure he is okay?" Dumbledore asked one day as Hermione entered his office to discuss some changes in her mega awesome super secret schedule. The girl herself seemed troubled, and Dumbledore would ask what was wrong, if he did not know that he would not receive an honest answer.

"Certain." Hermione replied, no doubt in her voice, and Dumbledore let it go. But it was soon to be four days since Snape was seen, and this could not go on any longer than it already had. Deciding to investigate it himself, Dumbledore approached Snape's bleak office one night after a delicious dinner, only to find it looking even emptier than before; the lack of the Potions professor was taking its toll on the room.

"Severus?" He called quietly, knowing it was useless but doing it anyway. Nothing seemed out of place, and Dumbledore was about to turn back to search other parts of the dungeons he knew Snape liked to frequent, but he saw a faint white mist traveling in the air.

Dumbledore followed it until it became thicker, and he stopped in front of the door to Snape's storage supplies. The mist was rolling from under the door, and Dumbledore went to open it, but then decided it would be too risky. He didn't know what the mist was. He knocked rather harshly for someone of his calmness. "Severus?"

"Let me out." A groggy voice replied, letting out a small hiccup. "I'll give you anything you want, Miss Granger, forget about the detention, I'll do anything…please just let me out. I'll even tell you about the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me."

"Dear Merlin." Dumbledore said, knocking again. "Severus, snap out of it, it's okay. I'll get you out."

"I was at a student held party in the trophy room. I was only in second year. The teachers were all asleep, naturally, and I asked my best friend Lily Evans, you might know her, she was nice. I asked her if she'd like to help me make a killing curse to kill Potter. Not your friend Harry, another Potter, you might know him. She said 'no.' How sad is that?" There were a few heart wrenching sobs from behind the door.

"Sever-"

"Anyway, I was angry, naturally, because I get angry at everything, so I went off by myself and I wrote up a killing curse. Except I put 'The Magical Killing Curse To Kill Lily Evans' as the heading, not Potter, and Lily found it under my mattress."

"Severus, stop."

"So she found it, right? And I'm like, oh boy, this will not end well. So I lied and told her I found it in Potter's Charms book. She believed me. So she went over to Potter the next day and pushed him on the ground or something, I don't remember, and she yelled at him for a solid fifteen minutes. After that Potter got up, looked at the piece of parchment I wrote on, and looked back up at Lily. 'Evans,' he said, laughing like mad. 'You do realize that this is Snivellus' handwriting, right? He must think you an idiot for not realizing this.' I can't believe he said that! I mean, it was stupid of her, but still. Snivellus is what he called me, by the way. I think it's because I sometimes snivel without meaning to."

"I don't think-"

"You're probably wondering where this is going. Lily pushed me down on the ground and it hurt because I was lanky, and she kicked me and kicked me. She kicked me in front of the entire school. So I lied again and said it was Black. You probably don't know him."

"Stop, NOW!"

"She kicked me some more, and then I blacked out because she kicked my head because she was mad I lied again. I had to get vitamins from a drip for three weeks in the hospital wing because of it, and then I had to carry a portable drip around with me for four weeks. For my school picture, I'm posing with a drip. Here," He slid something under the door. "Show the whole bloody school, just let me _out_."

Dumbledore picked up the photo he slid under the door and chortled with laugher. There was Snape, a medical drip next to him. The 12 year old boy looked as lanky as ever, and Dumbledore couldn't stop laughing. "Oh Merlin, Severus…"

"There," He sobbed again, banging on the door. "Take it, let me out."

Dumbledore was too busy laughing to hear him. "I should go show Minerva." He said. He decided to do just that, and he started to exit the office to go to McGonagall's. Snape cried out.

"Don't go! Don't go!"

The door to his classroom closed with a thud.

* * *

><p>"This is really him? This is really Snape?" Hermione chortled in her teacup, leaning her chair back and teetering rather dangerously on the back two legs. Dumbledore nodded and took a dainty sip of his tea, suppressing a chuckle of amusement in fear that his lungs would collapse; he had laughed too long and too hard in the previous hours.<p>

"Oh Merlin," Hermione wiped her eyes, looking at the picture. Tears of laughter had begun collecting around the corners. "I got to show Harry and Ron this. They won't believe their bloody eyes! Think I enchanted it, they will."

"Show the whole school if you fancy." Dumbledore smiled, setting his teacup down on his desk. "Severus said I could, as long as I…" He trailed off, turning pale. "Uh oh."

"What?" Hermione asked, putting her own teacup down to look at the Headmaster. "Something wrong?"

"I… I was supposed to let Severus out after he gave me the picture. I must have forgotten."

Hermione waved her hand impatiently. "It can wait."

Dumbledore didn't seem so sure. "No, Hermione, I don't think it can. Snape is delusional and troubled; for good reason, at that. Trust me, I know what it's like to be in the closet and trust me again, it's not a good feeling."

Hermione slanted her eyes and peered at the Headmaster through them. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

But Dumbledore was already putting on his coat and "walking boots," waving his hand to imply she should do the same. Hermione slumped in her chair, sulking a bit. As she did a loud whistle filled the room, shrieking through the air and causing the former Headmasters in the portraits to cower behind their chairs. "Tea's ready! Tea's ready!" it shrieked, and Hermione turned to see the kettle bouncing off the walls like mad, drops of tea spilling from its spout. "Tea's ready! Tea's ready!"

Dumbledore gave it a mournful glance, looking at his teacup. It was empty. So was Hermione's. Hermione raised an eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest and crossing her legs. "Perhaps you would like to have another cup of tea before rescuing Snape from his prison?"

Dumbledore glanced at the tea kettle and then at the door, slumping his shoulders. "Well, I…I…"

Hermione raised her other eyebrow.

He sighed.

"Perhaps."


End file.
